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Over the years, my parents have taught me many valuable lessons. Although, at the time, I thought they were just lecturing me. But after letting it settle and sink into my brain, I realize that there's no better life advice from any one else but my parents. These are the few that have stuck with me through my 19 years of living.
Sidenote: I decided to separate these lessons into different posts because I have a lot to say about each one.
1. Family comes first.
I think this one is a given. My family has gone to great lengths for each other, and I'm not talking about just my direct family. I'm talking about extended family--from both sides. When I was in my earlier teens, I felt that my parents didn't understand, that they were out to get me, and that their seemingly overprotective behavior was just them not trusting me (I feel old saying that, as I'm in my 20th year--and before you argue, I already lived 19 years...this is my 20th). But now that I'm in college, I realized that all my parents want for my brother and me is our happiness and that they would unconditionally love us no matter what we throw in their way. It was a hard concept to grasp at first, and it was for a while. It took me about 18 years until I realized that a lot of us take our parents for granted.
When I was 8, I saw a dress I liked and I asked my mom if I could buy it. She said no, so I threw a tantrum until my mom bought it for me. I only wore it once.
When I was 12, I thought my parents were being unfair by not getting me a texting plan. So naturally, I did it against their will and racked my phone bill up to nearly $1000 (this is 1/3 of my tuition per year).
Come sophomore year of high school--when I was 16--I had made friends with people that were older than me, but my parents still hadn't let up on allowing me to go out on school days/nights. So I stopped going home after school, and I didn't go home until 10 or 11 on school nights (boy, do I regret that...I missed out on months of my mom's cooking).
When senior year came around, I argued with my parents, specifically my mom, about college. I strongly believed that college is about leaving home and becoming your own entity without your parent's guidance. I didn't really understand the reality and business of college, so I thought I could apply to out-of-state schools and just take out loans to pay off school. After all, it's just money, right?
But I was wrong. It was so much more than "just money." I go to school a little less than two hours away from home, and I miss my parents every day. The minute I step out of my house, I feel vulnerable and empty. Even writing about this makes me tear up. The problem isn't that I can't handle my own responsibilities and that I'm scared of taking on the world without my parents' help. I'm ecstatic that I've reached this stage in my life. But the matter is, my parents are my identity. I do have my own unique aspects apart from them, but ultimately, I am literally and figuratively a mixture of them.
After years of putting my friends before my family, I finally figured out that family comes first. Most of the people I used put in front of my family have come and gone, some causing me grief, some I caused grief to, and some drifting away. None of them are really in my life anymore.
But my family still is. No matter how much grief I felt and how much grief I gave others, nothing will compare to the heartache I gave my parents. Even when they have nothing, they give us everything. I owe it to them to at least be the person they raised me to be and make them proud.
For me, home isn't a location you can pinpoint on a map. Home is wherever my parents are.
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